


a brief history of very small treasons

by coffeecrowns



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Background Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Child Soldiers, Dragons, Family Feels, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Growing up and realizing your whole worldview is fucked and having no idea what to do about it, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Tea, War, fire nation is a mess and that starts at home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23680369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeecrowns/pseuds/coffeecrowns
Summary: Iroh through the years as he works to understand his place in his nation, its war, and his family.
Relationships: Iroh & Ozai (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 137





	a brief history of very small treasons

**Author's Note:**

> You know how sometimes an idea latches onto your brain and won't let you go? 
> 
> Yeah. I'm currently working a different Avatar fic that will prob take place in this timeline, tho I think after the war. It's early stages and this ate my brain first. 
> 
> Shannon, this is somehow probably your fault.

i.

He is a young man, though not as young as his nephew will be when he faces this trial, when Iroh meets the last of the dragons. It is a difficult journey. He is alone, which he doesn’t mind. His eighteenth birthday was a great celebration, but an overwhelming one. 

There was one nice moment: Ozai, who is normally sullen and cruel thirteen year old, is absolutely fascinated by dragons. It’s the first thing they’ve had in common that they had a choice over. Their father doesn’t care much for trends, but this hunt has substance and requires skill. Both he and Ozai are more than willing to listen to any man titled Dragon at this party. It is not exactly peaceful, but there is something comforting about sinking into conquered legends. 

Iroh’s military career is about to define his life. He doesn’t resent this. It is an honourable thing, to fight among his people for a greater life for all. The only issue is how young he will be compared to other men of his rank. He wants to earn their respect. This is his life now, his gifted title will come before his name, and if people believe in it, he will have to live up to it and if they don’t, he’ll be working twice as hard. 

There is an obvious solution. He requests permission to go hunt a dragon. Azulon looks at him from beyond a curtain of flames, and a deeply buried part of Iroh thinks of how it would feel to breathe life and protection. His father agrees to let him go on his own. He says one of the few truly kind things Iroh ever hears from him. 

“My son, the Fire Nation considers you a great and worthy man. I believe your actions will prove their faith correct.” 

Of course, then there is three weeks of struggling through the wilderness, where he nearly poisoned himself trying to find and brew jasmine leaves. He’ll leave (ha!) any other creature comforts behind, but not this one. He isn’t delirious or drugged however, when he finds out the Sun Warriors live on. There is another way to structure Fire society. There is another way to Firebend. And all of it will die if he kills these dragons. 

Instead he learns all he can. 

Instead he comes home, and attaches an ironic little lie to his name for the next thirty five years. For the longest time, in his darkest moments, he considers it an honourable thing. In these moments, he is able to admit that something has gone terribly, terribly wrong with his home, and nation, and people and it runs so deep that he doesn’t know how to fix it. Even so, for the most part, the Dragon of the West title carries that weight for him. 

ii.

Once he has accepted that there are some things that the Fire Nation has wrong, he can’t stop noticing other elements' wisdom. He tries to mention it to another officer, once. Major Liang looks so disgusted Iroh does some quick thinking and talking to use this Earth village local myth and general stubbornness against them. It works too well. 

If he was a better (or worse, depending on the day) man, he would use his education and willingness to look and listen and learn to bring down swifter and harsher victories. Instead, he points out painfully obvious things about the Earth Kingdom and her people when he grows too frustrated or hopeless. It usually makes him feel worse, but it comes to define his career anyways. It gets him labeled kindly as effective and whispered as odd. He isn’t any closer to knowing what he wants. 

iii. 

His father lowers the enlistment age to sixteen. Iroh remembers being sixteen, and how old he felt. He also, and more importantly, remembers Ozai at sixteen. His brother was most definitely a child at sixteen, and Iroh is certain he was as well. 

He crosses his fingers that perhaps, these new soldiers have been raised tougher than he was, grown up quicker. Instead, they are smaller than he expects, many having not been fed properly for most of their lives. They want to be soldiers. They were the smallest uniforms Iroh has seen, some of them need even further hemming. They play cards, which is a soldier's game and that doesn’t surprise him, but they don’t gamble. Instead they play games that involve slamming their hands on the table as fast as they can, or games that purposefully involve cheating - seemingly only to admit it the second the next person plays. 

Iroh has a company under his control of children. He takes them into battle. At the very least, they are well trained children. They are brave. They are strong, and fight well. The two day siege of a smaller town is a resounding success, with only a few casualties. He writes the letters for the families of the two sixteen year olds who died - Privates Lee and Jan. He is ready to send them off when Captain Han, the seventeen year old woman who has never taken her people into conflict before today. Who has never lost anyone, and now has lost two boys who apparently lost horrifically to her at something called “Slap Jack” only days ago. 

“Hello Captain Han, please come sit. Would you like some tea?”

“Yes please,” she replies. “Could you call me Kira, just for a little bit?” 

“Only if you call me Iroh.” He manages a smile at her, before giving her a moment while he tries to pick a tea that will bring comfort. If he’s placed her accent and name correctly, she’s from Ti Peeg Province, and brews her a red that will hopefully help. If not, it doesn’t have any caffeine, and ideally she’ll get some sleep tonight. 

“What can I do for you?” he asks, while pouring out their cups. He looks up to see Captain Han, Kira, a definite child, crying silently with her hands cradling any warmth she can from her teacup. Iroh doesn’t have a lot of experience with children, and can deeply feel that gap in his knowledge. He cannot tell her it’s okay, because it isn’t. 

“You did nothing wrong. You are a good and capable commander, Kira. I know you did your best.”

“And it wasn’t enough. Lee and Jan are gone and- “ Kira sobs openly. “I don’t think I can do this.” 

The only thought his brain can latch onto is: _you shouldn’t have to_. 

Instead he says, “It will not feel like this forever.” He doesn’t offer her a hug, because he won’t be able to send her out again. They finish their tea, and he says, “Thank you for your visit, Captain Han,” and she bows. He returns the flames and bows deeper than he has to. All this only means the next morning he locks down considerably more regret. 

iv.

His son is born with big, gleaming eyes. His son is born with a fire that shocks even the sages. Iroh knows from his son's first wail that Lu Ten will bring honour and joy and light upon the Fire Nation. 

A blink of nineteen years later, his son is dead. His son is dead and lifeless. He could feel his son's fire go out across the battlefield. It no longer matters what future Lu Ten might have held, and Iroh finds he no longer cares. Only that this war has stolen his honour and that this should have never happened. This war, that has defined every day of his suddenly too long life, is pointless. Is self defeating, hypocritical, a waste, and wrong. Iroh knows this in every fibre of his being. It is not the first time he’s approached this thought, but now it cannot be put down. He doesn't know how to grieve his son, or the life he has known. He doesn’t know how to get out of bed anymore. 

Eventually, slowly, in his disgrace and heavy grief, he starts putting together a crude approximation of a way out of this war. It rests entirely on his future ability to rule the Fire Nation. 

He comes home to an invitation to his father’s funeral and his brutal and bloodthirsty little brother who used to be appeased by stories of dragons staring down from the throne. 

v.

Zuko and Azula are somehow both older and younger than he expects. He loves his niece and nephew, even if he isn’t fully sure how anymore. He knew Ursa, of course. She was kind, too kind to be married to his brother, apparently. He barely feels her absence. Zuko speaks of her kindly, Azula dismissively, so she was obviously trying. It just didn’t really matter. He won’t hold it against her, he has yet to do good that matters. 

He catches Zuko treating his own burns, almost in places that he couldn’t have accidentally burnt himself. Zuko lies through his teeth about being clumsy and a bad firebender. Iroh doesn’t know how to press him on it. 

He catches Azula, exactly once, stumble and fall faint in practice. She stands up and performs the kata flawlessly and faster. Only after her Firebending Master gives a single, narrow eyed nod of dismissal, does Iroh notice her left ankle obviously broken from its swollen size and purple hue. She glares at him with such vitriol, he decides the honourable thing is to let her feel safe when she’s injured. 

Iroh thinks about harming his brother. 

vi.

Ozai lowers the enlistment age to fourteen. 

vii. 

Ozai burns Zuko, little Zuko who Iroh advised to never give up without a fight. Zuko, who screams and cries and wails. Zuko, who begged. Zuko, who is barely conscious for the next week. Zuko, who doesn’t cry when he’s told the conditions of his banishment, even though it is impossible. Zuko, who has just been through a lifetime of pain, who will need a guide and support, and who is the only person who has even a glimpse of a chance of putting a stop to this. 

Zuko, who deserves someone to love him. 

viii. 

Iroh has a barebones crew and a dangerous injured thirteen year old. Iroh gets used to waking up at least once a night to Zuko screaming, then getting up again at dawn to help his nephew, a firebender who needs to meditate and is scared of his flame of life. 

Iroh thinks about killing his brother. 

ix.

He sees the Avatar at the North Pole. He has already helped the Avatar, technically. He wouldn’t have a defence against anyone else, but he can justify himself with the spirits and balance, and the Fire Sages would probably consider his actions warranted, even against the massive loss of Fire Nation life. 

It doesn’t change the fact that when the Avatar first rises, enveloped in water, glowing with ancient power and wisdom, Iroh’s first thought is just of bone deep relief and hope. 

x.

The first time he holds the keys to his own teashop, a relaxed and smiling Zuko beside him, he thinks: _This could be our peace._

**Author's Note:**

> * I put Lu Ten at 19 when he dies based on being able to enlist at 16 plus a three year Siege of Ba Sing Se. If this (or any other timeline stuff) is contradicted by canon I'm bad at numbers and just call it creative licence. I truly can't remember if the enlingstment being 16 and lowered to 14 in the last lil bit of the war is canon or a headcanon I stole. If it is your, please let me know I'd love to be able to credit you! 
> 
> Otherwise, I wrote this is one two hour ish sitting. I hope you are all staying safe and healthy and busy during these challenging times.


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